*the theatre, again. This time, Yuan is back in the theatre, and of course, Kratos, Zelos, and Lloyd are there.*
*Oh yeah, him too.*
Astarael: Thank you.
Zelos: Wonder what’s in store for us this time?
Kratos: Nothing good.
Yuan: Isn’t that the truth. Well, let’s get this over with, at least-
*a figure suddenly appears in one of the chairs-a female figure…*
Lloyd: …oh no.
Dyrinn: Hello. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?
Astarael: Hello, mother.
Yuan: ….Kratos, why does this woman look like you?
Kratos: …Long story. Very long story.
*words begin to scroll, and the talking stops.*
((A/N: Meowzy: Yo, and welcome to another collab fic with Meowzy! This time, with my smut-loving buddy Nife!
Zelos: …ooo, porn?
Nife: I R the banana!
Meowzy: ... I see... You make a very good point!
All: *Confused blink*
Well, before we start, I must throw around a few warnings.
Astarael: Warning number one: The light socket is not something you stick your tongue in, especially if you’re a Water-based demon.
Everyone else: *Stare*
Astarael: …what? I tried it once.
First, this fic supports Yuan/Kratos, Lloyd/Zelos, and maybe some other guy/guy or girl/girl pairings.
Astarael: This will be more fun than I thought.
Dyrinn: *Nods slowly, smiling*
Kratos: *Buries head in hands*
Yuan: *Does same*
Lloyd and Zelos: *Move as far away from each other as they can*
Zelos: Konichiwa! Kawaii desu ne?
Everyone else: *Stare*
Zelos: Hey, I’VE gone on the internet.
Meowzy: Also, it's an M-preg fic. If you don't know what M-preg is, it means Male Pregnancy.
Everyone but Astarael and Dyrinn: *STARE IN HORROR*
Astarael and Dyrinn: *CACKLE*
I normally don't support M-pregs, but we're gonna try to tie it in nicely, and make it a bit logical.
Yuan: HOW IS A MALE GETTING PREGANT LOGICAL?!
Astarael: *flipping through script* …you’re about to find out.
Yuan: …NO. OH FUCKING HELL NO.
Lloyd: *Brain still trying to figure this out*
We hope you all don't go "Ewww, M-preg!" and run away, because it's really not all about the pregnant thing. Okay, maybe it is, but... Oh, whatevah.
Nife: M-preg are the cute! X3
Zelos: No, M-preg are the ‘do not compute, goes against all natural laws in regards to humans, danger, Will Robinson, danger’ kinda thing.
Meowzy: What she said! Odd, and physically not possible, but cute.
Zelos: Damn, even they admit it’s completely screwed up.
Oh, and also, we don't own Tales of Symphonia or the characters. Now, enjoy the first chapter written by Nife! And leave reviews, because I'm a review whore.
Nife: I love reviews. Like chocolate covered Kratoses. And Yuans. And them together... -drowns in own drool-))
Kratos and Yuan: *Sigh* Fangirls…
Zelos: and it’s only going to get worse with the OVA out now, you know.
Lloyd: …I’m sorry, Father. And Yuan.
Love's first name
Astarael and Dyrinn: *together* Is murder.
Everyone else: …*stare*
"What do you mean?"
Yuan: *Still glancing at the econtras* My question exactly.
Yuan was sitting comfortably in a chair across from Lloyd, sipping his coffee. He had asked the question when Lloyd had made a strange proclamation to him. "I thought Derris-Kharlan wasn't due to return for another three months...?" He leaned back, and stared at the man across from him.
Yuan and Kratos: …
Lloyd: *blinks* But if Derris-Kharlan was somehow pushed out of orbit, it wouldn’t return. At all.
Zelos: Silly Lloyd, logic is for-
Lloyd: Chosen, you’ve already used that joke.
"Dad says, because it caught the orbit of three planets it's moving far faster now." Lloyd said, answering Yuan. He studied Yuan slightly, waiting for some sort of a reaction.
"I see..." Yuan said sipping on the tea again, carefully keeping himself in check. "So he'll be here tomorrow then..."
Yuan: …wait, why am I on the planet, and Kratos is on Derris-Kharlan?
Zelos: you…take turns, maybe?
"Yeah, as long as all goes well. We're going to have a party to celebrate. Are you going to come?" Lloyd asked.
"I'll see..." Yuan said, finishing his coffee.
Yuan: …I don’t drink coffee. I drink tea.
Zelos: What, Caffeine too good for you?
He got up and grabbed his cape, nodding good-bye to Zelos and Colette who were in Lloyd's kitchen.
Dyrinn: ..so Lloyd and Colette have gotten married?
Kratos: but the authors said that this was…
Astarael: Cheating on Colette, are you Lloyd?
Lloyd: …I’m not even going to reply to that. Besides, wouldn’t that mean you are too?
Astarael: …I’ve already tried that. I mean, Econtras aren’t set in our genders, like you.
Lloyd: …wait, then that means- …*BRAIN GO BOOM.*
"Kratos... how long has it been since you left here?" Yuan said, relaxing in his large chair in his living room. "Five years?"
Zelos: aaaand here comes the uke angst.
Yuan: Five years? and the planet hasn't drifted away for good?
Kratos had left on Derris-Kharlan after the true regeneration of the world, and though Yuan loathed to admit it, he had missed the other angel terribly.
Astarael: [Yuan] OH, MY BIG STRONG SEME! WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?! WRRRRRRRRRRRRY?!
Kratos and Yuan: *heads in hands*
He wondered how his old friend was doing, and if he'd managed to awaken the other angels.
He sighed, shaking his head. If he wanted to find these things out he'd just have to go to the party and ask himself.
"So my decision was made before I decided then..." Yuan said aloud.
Dyrinn: *squints* that sentence isn't quite right.
Zelos: *Pointedly looks at Kratos*
Zelos: Come on, say it.
Zelos: Oh, come on! It'll make you feel better.
Kratos: Chosen, what part of no don't you understand?
Zelos: C'mon, please? If not for yourself, then how about Lloyd? Huh?
Lloyd: *STILL trying to figure it out*
Kratos: *Sigh* Fine. ...Blame your fate.
Zelos: THERE you go!
Kratos: I already dislike you, Chosen.
He summoned one of his butlers and told him that he'd be out and that he should inform all of his servants that they had the night off. If this ended badly he didn't need them to see him in utter disarray.
Lloyd: ....Wait, so...Yuan, you live in a mansion?
Yuan: ...at five years from everything, if all went well, I should still be controlling the renegades.
Zelos: Besides, being rich and having servants is MY shtick.
The party, like all things Lloyd-tachi did, was a large event.
Sheena: *poofs in* ...will people stop abusing my language?!
Zelos: That's Mizuhoan?
Sheena: Yes! Although, I don't really get what the author is trying to say. I mean, -Tachi could mean a group...or it's a slang term for-uh...
Yuan: ...let me guess. A Homosexual?
Lloyd: *BRAIN KER-SPLODE*
Sheena: ...yeah. And also, it's mainly used for a person who identifies themselves as being the..uh..'top.'
Zelos: ...so...if that's what the author is trying to say, then....whoa, wait, WHAT?! *points at Lloyd* HE'S ON TOP?!
Lloyd: BUT I LIKE GIRLS. ...well, kinda, because they also kinda scare me, and-
Zelos: *interruption, ahoy!* But in most Fanfics, I'M the one on top! So is this an actual semi-reverse fic, where the ukes are actually the semes, and-OH MY GOD, MY HEAD HURTS NOW.
Sheena: ...I was about to say that the author probably didn't know what it really meant.
There were decorations as far as the eye could see. The walls, the tables, the people, all of it was decorated to the nines.
Lloyd: Decorated to the what?
Yuan sighed, he had decided to dress up slightly for the occasion, but being here he felt a little... out of place. His own clothing nowhere near the extravagance the room held.
Zelos: ...wait, LLOYD threw this party? No offence, but you wouldn't know extravagance if it jumped up and bit you in the-
Zelos: -FACE. BIT YOU IN THE FACE.
He looked around the hall. It was Zelos' that was for certain, but it had a lot of Regal's decoration taste.
Zelos: ...oh. That explains a lot.
Dyrinn: *Looks over at Astarael* ...the Script is missing.
Astarael: *Starts, looks* ...damn, you're right. Who could have-
Lloyd: Sheena's gone, too.
Astarael: *sighs* Damn ninjas. Always stealing my things.
He walked down the stairs to where Lloyd-tachi had gathered and greeted them with a wave.
"Hello." Regal greeted him gently.
"Good eve." Yuan said in reply, giving his head a slight nod.
The others turned to him with their own greetings.
Yuan studied all of them, as each of them had changed in the last few years... Lloyd was as tall and handsome as his father now,
Zelos: *DED OF LAFF*
Lloyd and Kratos: *DEATHGLARE*
Yuan: ...Wait, if I'm saying that he's as handsome as Kratos, then-OH GOOD GOD NO.
Kratos: *Abrupt horror*
while Colette still remained petite but had grown lovely as a woman.
Astarael: *perverted grin*
Genis had grown exponentially, now towering over his sister, who in turn had not changed much at all. Not that he expected her to, she was a half elf after all.
Presea had also grown quite taller and more beautiful, looking every bit like her name's sake, the beautiful flower. Regal looked a bit older, and far more kept. If Yuan's eyes weren't deceiving him, he saw a wedding band on his finger... perhaps from his old love?
Zelos: Wait, who did regal marry? Alicia is dead.
Astarael: Fan logic, lawl.
Zelos: ...Did you just say lawl?
Astarael: No. ....Yes.
Sheena looked like an older, more mature woman, utterly beautiful and exotic.
Zelos: ....do you have pictures?
Zelos had grown a little older looking, but no less appealing to the eye.
Zelos: *proudly preens self*
Yuan: *Rolls eyes*
His hands were entwined with Lloyd's, to which Yuan had to smile lightly. It was so nice to see love so young and pure.
More boring things happen. and zomg, is Kratos coming or not?
Hours went by without a hid or hair of Kratos or his entourage. Yuan wasn't worried, he'd know Kratos wouldn't miss this opportunity to see his son.
However... when Lloyd started to pace and the clock hit one in the morning, Yuan began to fret slightly.
"When did he say he'd arrive?" Presea asked Lloyd.
"He said sometime tonight... At least night in Tethe'alla." Lloyd said, stopping his pacing to answer Yuan.
"... I see." Yuan answered. He looked out the window he was sitting near, wringing his hands nervously.
Lloyd was about to say something when a bright light lit up the sky and flew towards them.
Yuan shot up, running towards the doors, and opening them to see Kratos and his angel entourage standing there. "K-Kratos!" Yuan exclaimed.
Kratos smiled and walked towards Yuan and the doors. "Hello." He said, greeting him.
Yuan glared at him, "You're late."
Kratos smiled. "Forgive me."
Zelos: Oscar Wilde WISHES he were this gay.
"Ask your son." Yuan said blowing Kratos off,
Kratos and Yuan: ...
Astarael: Bad image demon got a hold of you two?
Kratos and Yuan: ....
Astarael: Actually, the guy's not so bad when you get used to him. But man, he likes to pull pranks.
Zelos: ...how do you know this?
Astarael: I'm a demon, stupid.
turning on his heel. He walked down the staircase to the main hall.
Kratos chuckled under his breath, and followed Yuan, angel entourage in tow.
Zelos: Gotta have the groupies, after all.
"Dad!" Lloyd shouted, as soon as Kratos entered. He ran up to the man, picking him up in a hug.
Yuan: *looks at Lloyd, then looks at Kratos* …How can Lloyd pick him up?
Lloyd: I am stronger than I look, Lo-I mean, Yuan.
Lloyd: *FULL STRENGTH PUNCH*
Zelos: *Wail of pain*
Kratos gasped as the air was pushed out of his lungs.
"L-Lloyd?" Kratos asked, slightly bewildered.
Lloyd put him down, smiling sheepishly. "Ah... sorry."
Kratos stared at his son. "Lloyd..." He said in astonishment.
Astarael: [Lloyd] *Dramatically* Dad!
Dyrinn: [Kratos] *stoic* Lloyd.
Zelos: Geez. Five years of not seeing the kid, and all he can say is his name?
Kratos: I’m saving speech for Yuan, apparently.
Lloyd smiled, happy that his father approved.
Lloyd: *confused* When did father approve? He just seemed astonished that I was able to pick him up.
Astarael: He approves of your lack of a spine, apparently.
Lloyd: *BOOT TO THE HEAD*
Kratos smiled happily with just a hint of nostalgia. "It's good to be home."
Dyrinn: …Department of Redundancy department? I’d like to report a crime that needs reporting.
"Now that Kratos is home it's time for the celebrations to begin!" Zelos exclaimed happily.
"I see some things don't change." Kratos said with a shake of his head, though it didn't have the venom it usually carried when it came to the chosen.
Kratos: …I only have venom in my voice when the Chosen does something stupid.
Zelos: *Unhappy face*
Unhappy face: *looks like this* D:
"Um dad..." Lloyd said, suddenly nervous.
"Yes Lloyd?" Kratos answered.
"I-uh, have something to tell you." He said, looking away from his father.
Kratos seemed to understand and led Lloyd away from the others,
Astarael: and here comes the sex!
Kratos and Lloyd: *SWORD TO THE FACE*
to a more private place. The angels who followed him thus far remained amongst the rest of Lloyd-tachi.
Zelos: …I…I know that sentence is trying to say something, but…uh.
Astarael: Oh look, Kratos, your groupies are considerate.
"Dad... it's about me... and" Lloyd began.
Kratos remained attentively listening to Lloyd, making no move to say anything till lloyd was finished.
Yuan: …that line is utterly useless.
Zelos: I’m sure the author just wanted to give it a home. Useless, unloved sentences need a loving story too, yanno!
"... Zelos, we... we're married." Lloyd finished flinching from Kratos slightly, afraid of what was to come.
Zelos: *Snorts* Hey, Kratos –uh, no offence to you, guy- can be a bit of a stonewall, but it’s like he’s going to demand you to kill yourself because you’re gay.
Lloyd: …but I still like girls. …kind of.
"That's good to hear Lloyd." Kratos said.
"Ah...? Is that all? You're not going to freak?" He asked.
Kratos shook his head. "Why should I? I have no right to dictate whom you love, or how you live."
Astarael: [Kratos] It’s not like I’m going to tell on you, because guess what-I’m gay too!
Yuan: Right, like another gay person would never tell or punish someone because they’re also gay.
Zelos: Can we stop talking about guys and get back to boobs?
Kratos: *rolls eyes* Chosen, you have a one-track mind.
More happy-happy joy-joy stuff. Bleh.
"So this is where you've been hiding." Kratos said as he walked up to Yuan, a wine bottle in one hand, two glasses in the other.
Astarael: Kratos-The Date Raper.
Kratos, Yuan, AND Lloyd: *SWORD TO THE HEAD*
"How'd you find me?" Yuan asked, eyeing the wine bottle.
"Sheena." Kratos answered simply.
Astarael: Damn ninjas, always telling people where other people are at.
"I see, and the wine?" He asked, still looking at the wine.
"I thought it would be nice for us to celebrate my return together." Kratos said.
"I see..." Yuan said with a slight chuckle, not missing the implication.
Kratos and Yuan: *move as far away from each other as they can*
Kratos handed him a glass, opening the bottle with his teeth.
Kratos: …this writer has never opened a bottle of wine before, have they?
Astarael: I am getting this hilarious image of you chewing like a dog on the wine cork.
Zelos: [Kratos] OM NOM NOM
"Elegant." Yuan said with a raised eyebrow as Kratos poured him a glass. He lifted the glass up to his lips, taking a quick sip.
Kratos shrugged off Yuan's criticism and poured himself a cup. "Whatever works."
Lloyd: THAT IS NOT MY FATHER.
Kratos: *rubs head* I believe I feel an OOC headache coming on.
He took a swig of his own, before casting a look at Yuan. "I missed you."
"Ah, is this where you confess your undying love to me?" Yuan asked, smiling slightly.
Yuan: There is no way Kratos will actually go along with this cheesy segue.
"No, it's your turn. I did it last time." Kratos answered.
Astarael: Apparently, he will.
Yuan: *head in hands*
"Oh, really?" Yuan said with a light chuckle, "I've lost count."
"The last time was me before I left on Derris Kharlan... You said you couldn't go with me, that you had a lot of things to do here..." Kratos said, looking at the fountain below the balcony. "Are you done with them...?" He asked quietly.
Yuan: …I wish plagues upon these two.
Zelos: Aren’t you wishing a plague on yourself, then?
Yuan: No, I’m wishing a plague on the OOC versions of I and my best friend-who is ONLY my best friend, NOTHING MORE-Because I want the pain to end quickly.
Yuan sighed, casting his gaze to the heavens. "If only... But you're going to stay now aren't you?"
Zelos: [Kratos] Nope, I’m catching the next bus out back to Derris Kharlan.
Zelos: Magical sword transportation, whatever.
Boring talk about angels go here. Yuan angsts about something that happened, apparently.
"He's grown up into a fine man, looks just like you." Yuan said off hand.
"I think he looks more like his mother..." Kratos said, realising that Yuan was dropping the topic.
"He has your eyes and your body." Yuan said.
"Yuan, why have you been checking out my son?" Kratos said glaring, though there was a little bit of mischief in his eyes.
Kratos: *Pure, unadulterated horror*
Lloyd: *not a happy camper either right now*
Zelos: …I…woah, that is just all KINDS of wrong.
"Don't flatter yourself..." Yuan said rolling his eyes.
Yuan: *recovers* No, the proper reply to that is OF COURSE NOT YOU DOLT HERE HAVE A FIST FULL OF LIGHTNING.
"So want to get so wasted we forget our names?" Kratos said, abruptly changing the subject.
Kratos: …Why must the fangirls mangle me so?
Zelos: Remember kids-everytime you write us out of character, Martel kills a Katz. Think of the Katz.
"Sure." Yuan said, grabbing the bottle from Kratos, and chugging it.
Kratos: Now I’m certain this person has never been in the vicinity of wine before.
Zelos: OH, MY ARISTOCRATIC SENSIBLITIES. Yuan, I probably paid good Gold for that wine! Don’t go chugging it down like some idiot from the slums!
Yuan: Firstly, I would never chug wine. Secondly, stop yelling at me or you will be the one to get that fist full of lightning.
Lol, Drunken Seraphim coming through.
"Do you really want me to spend my first night alone?" Kratos said leaning on the other seraph.
"You're just a horny bastard..." Yuan slurred.
"Only for you." Kratos said, leaning down to kiss Yuan's lips.
Kratos and Yuan: *not even making eye contact at this point*
Lloyd: *Eyes closed, hands over head* I’mnotlisteningI’mnotlisteningI’
Yuan smiled back up at Kratos. "You know what this means..."
"I have to pay for the next beer we have." Kratos answered.
"That, and you have to get tomorrow's aspirin." He said, dragging Kratos into their room.
Lloyd: …Is it over?
Kratos: It appears so.
Zelos: Good, that means we can get out of here, right? *Looks towards the doors*
Doors: *not opening for you, bitches*
Zelos: …the hell?
*the intercom crackles to life, suddenly.*
Intercom: SUBJECTS WILL NOT BE REMOVED FROM THE THEATER UNTIL FIC IS COMPLETELY FINISHED.
Lloyd: But we finished it!
Intercom: NO. THERE ARE 22 MORE CHAPTERS TO GO BEFORE FIC IS COMPLETED.
Yuan: …OH HELL NO! I AM NOT GOING TO SIT HERE AND READ MORE OF THIS CRAPPY ROMANCE FICTION!
Kratos: I concur!
Astarael: More pain and suffering on their behalf? I am totally up for that.
Intercom: SILENCE CURSED FOOLS. YOU MUST STAY IN THE THEATER UNTIL FIC IS COMPLETE, AND THAT IS FINAL. HAVE A NICE DAY.
*the intercom fizzles out*
Lloyd, Kratos, Yuan, and Zelos: *all look at eachother*
Dyrinn: …I shall leave you to them, Astarael.
Astarael: Thank you, mother.
Astarael: *rubs hands* Well, it’s seems we’re in here for a while. Get comfy-this isn’t going to go well.